Things I never thought I'd do......

If someone had ever told me I'd suck snot from someones nose, be glad to be pooped on in the bath, praise burps, answer the door with my breasts out or squirt milk from my nipple into my baby's eyes I'd have been left pretty speechless, but in the 16 short weeks since Edward came into my life I've done all the above, and probably more weird and wonderful things that have overnight become the norm.

I've been lucky enough to be blessed with a baby that loves breasts, (just like most men I guess!), After we had been taken into the recovery room and still feeling pretty shaky from the operation the midwife asked me if I wanted to try to feed Edward; half propped on a pillow in a nasty hospital gown the midwife pulled out my breast and lay Edward on my right arm.  I looked down at him and he opened his mouth and practically pulled himself onto the nipple, he clamped down and sucked away.  Personally I think breast feeding is special enough for a post all of its own but for the purpose of this blog it's just important that you know that Eddie and I managed it and that I recognize how lucky we are as I know so many people struggle with it.

And so, armed with a baby happily breast feeding I headed home from hospital and after two days, down to Cornwall, it was while we were there that we finally saw a midwife (ten days after we left the hospital but that's another story again!), Eddie was suffering with a slightly infected eye, the midwife suggested that I use breast milk to clear the infection....perfect, it was available on tap and was quicker and easier than boiling water and waiting for it to cool, with a newborn baby I'd take any time saving device offered!

Shortly after the midwife visit Tristan and I went out for lunch at The Lewinnick Lodge, we had a lovely meal and then I fed Edward while Tristan enjoyed his pint.  Despite the fact we supposedly live in a liberal society people do still stare when you get your baps out, even if its not after too many vodkas outside the kebab shop and instead is simply to feed your baby, more about that in another blog! So there I was feeding away, feeling quite comfortable, happily unaware of anyone watching while I just enjoyed the connection with Edward....he drank his fill and when he pulled his head away I took my nipple and squeezed milk into his eye. Yep, I squeezed milk into his eye sat at the lunch table while people no doubt wondered what sort of torture I was inflicting on my baby. It was one of the many weird behaviours that had become such a normal part of every day that it wasnt until Tristan pointed out how other people might see it that I even considered the strangeness of it from an outsiders perspective! And there began the long list of odd behaviour associated with parenthood!

Before Eddie arrived I wasn't sure how I would feel about breastfeeding in public but I was determined to at least try, as it is I find it much easier than I ever thought and have breastfed in some strange and random situations; watching a lady boy show at a thai temple for example, walking round Tescos with Eddie in my arms and while waiting for my prescription in Boots to name a few! At the beginning it did feel like I was a walking milk machine, something I know lots of people have also commented on, Eddie seemed to need feeding every five minutes and I became adapt at feeding him on one side while carrying out other every day activites with the other hand; loading the washing machine, one handed washing up, making and eating breakfast cereal (there have been days I've eaten nothing else!). I had my breast in and out of its nursing bra so often it was sometimes easier to just leave it out, (remember what I said about the time saving suggestions!). And so when the postman knocked on the door to deliver a parcel and I was in between feeds I answered the door, took my parcel, borrowed the postmans pen, signed for the parcel, thanked him and shut the door, all without realising I had both my breasts completely exposed! I'd like to have thought it was his lucky day but I was hardly an attractive site, covered in breast milk, unwashed hair, no make up and most probably in my pyjamas!

The unmade up version of me who answered the door and flashed the postman.

 

 

Move on a few weeks and Edward got his first cold, the little sniffles broke my heart, not much to be done for babies with colds, no Lockets or Lemsips, so I did what I could, I bought drops to put on a wet cloth on his radiator; a menthol smell meant to help him breathe, I raised one end of the mattress in his cot; he slipped, I dropped saline up his nose; he blinked, and I used the glamorous nasal aspirator to try and suck the snot and bogies from his teeny tiny nostrils!  It's a great idea but with a cold myself and nearly 8 inches of tube to suck through I wasn't achieving much! And so, I did what I never thought I'd do; clamped my mouth around Edwards nostril and sucked up his snot. Not glam, but it certainly helped!

By comparison to the above the odd clap and cheer when Edward burps or farts seems not at all out of place, however being pleased to be pooped on in the bath is another thing altogether!  Edward  had spent several days in a rather uncomfortable state kicking at his tummy, grunting and groaning, quite clearly constipated. On recommendation of the doctor I offered Edward some grape juice, he wasn't all that impressed and having only been able to find purple grape juice everything very quickly became stained! I persevered and massaged his tummy with clockwise circular movements.  On the third morning of being awake since 4am I lay Eddie on his back while I ran a warm bath for us both; I rubbed his tummy and pedalled his legs, very tired I picked him up and we climbed in. I held him in front of me on his back and he smiled up at me, just a few minutes in the tell tale bubbles appeared on the surface, a massive fart, oh I laughed and smiled and gave Eddie as big a cheer as I could manage after just a couple of hours sleep. I looked down at Edwards little grin and saw the results of the grape juice floating to the surface of the bath, it had worked and he certainly wasn't constipated anymore!!

The Grape Juice treatment!

And so Eddie as young as he is has probably been responsible for making me do more things I never thought I'd do than anyone else I've ever met! And the most exciting thing is that it's early days yet, just thinking about what I might do that I never thought I would is amazing. Here's to Eddie and all the children all over the world who lead us to do things we've never done before, sucking bogies might not be swimming with dolphins but it's a new experience all the same!!!